Disappear Before the Dawn
by aribangbangboom
Summary: Hermione's life changes when she becomes the victim of a traumatic situation. Insomnia and recollections of that night plague her and cause her to break away from her loved ones. Along the way she discovers security in the most unlikely of people. Review
1. Uncover the Night

Hello my fellow fanfic readers/writers! I'm so excited to write a new story for you guys so that you can enjoy it as much as I do while I write it and of course your going to review so I can put in your ideas so that I can please my readers. Right?! Please please please review. Its so encouraging when I get reviews with constructive criticism or praise which makes me write even better :D

So I love you guys and btdubs: I do not own anything Harry Potter except my own ideas and plot. Hope you like it 3

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There had to be another life outside of this. Something more to look forward to than another day of bickering and covered up lies. This is exactly why she held back, because in the deep crevices of her heart she knew that if she loved him, truly loved him and came to sincerely believe that he loved her that he would smash her heart to pieces. Which is exactly what he was doing now.

They sat across from each other in two identical red "love" seats (ironic isn't it) and glared at one another with such ferocity that any bystander in the common room would be surprised that they didn't melt one another. How had they gone from loving each other to this inevitable fate of brokenness and hurt?

Hermione was slouched over resting her elbows on her knees cupping her chin in both of her hands occasionally rubbing her creased forehead and absentmindedly biting her nails. Her hair was long and slightly frizzed flowing down so that it ran past her legs, tickling the exposed skin of her thighs. She wore her dad's old flannel and navy blue volleyball spandex and her mascara and eyeliner was smeared from rubbing her eyes with her knuckles from her acquired insomnia. Ron sat upright, as straight and rigid as possible grasping either his jeans in bunches or the ends of the couch. His white V-neck exposed bits of his chiseled chest and his hair stood up in tufts from him pulling it in frustration. He exuded his defensiveness through every pore in his body, making it clear that what Hermione had witnessed was more than just a fling. It meant something, and he was going to continue doing what he wanted.

_"Did you or did you not cheat on me, Ronald?"_

**"Yes. But how do you expect me to satisfy my needs when we barely see each other anymore. You're always with your books, studying, and whenever I want to spend time alone with you, you always give me this lame excuse."**

_"Ron, how can you possibly say that? I make plenty of time for us."_

**"Please, Mione give me a break. You only spare the least amount of possible time with me and you always avoid any physical contact. Ever since…"**

_"Ever since what Ron? Are you seriously going to consider bringing that up right now?"_

**"Well I always have to avoid it around you. Don't you think I care enough about you that I still want to get physical with you? I'm not one of those jerks that did that to you Mione. I would never hurt you like they did."**

_"You've already hurt me Ron, don't you get it. You lied to me saying I was the only one you cared about. I go through a hard time that makes it hard for me to feel like being intimate with you and there you go cheating on me."_

**"Well its your problem that you can't so shouldn't I be able to find some release. Some satisfaction when you deny me over and over again."**

_"I don't want to feel pressured into doing anything Ron. You obviously don't understand how what they did to me made me feel. It makes me sick, disgusted with myself when I entertain the idea of being forced into something again. They violated the purity I once had and made me feel like a piece of trash that is so easily crumpled, balled up or torn and thrown away. I feel invaluable and obsolete. How can you dare to make me feel anything when I can barely experience the slightest emotions?"_

**"So now I disgust you?! I didn't do anything wrong Hermione. How do you think it makes me feel when you reject me? I feel like all you do is shut me out so that you don't have to feel anything. Your cold in every aspect and I miss the girl you once were that was also my best friend. I completely lost her."**

_"I'm not the same person and these expectations…well they're unrealistic. I think you should just leave me behind because the girl that once was, is gone and she isn't coming back. I experienced too much to forget."_

**"If only you would let me help you forget…"**

Ron looked across at Hermione observing her every motion, however small, and noticing that the Hermione he did once love was gone. Her heart was torn and broken, and he could not heal it no matter how devoted. She had set her mind to become unchangeable and once she was determined on a certain goal Hermione achieved it. He got up from the chair feeling as though he lost a vital part of his very being and walked away.

She stared a stain on the carpet of the common room noticing its discoloration and size. It seemed somehow intriguing to see something so mundane pertain to her life at this exact moment. She had no emotion reflecting across her face, simply a blank wonderment played across it but unveiling nothing. The words that kept coming to her mind were, "_It's going to be okay"_, repeated over and over again. She forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat like she had done since that night she was found tied to a bed clad with red silk bedding, laid bare before the world, covered only by the material bandaged around her wrists and feet and her mouth muffled by cloth soaked in a gaseous liquid/smell that had made her unconscious, in the Room of Requirement. She would not scream and cry any longer. Instead she would separate herself from the world and know within herself that nobody could save her from this torment.

She finally released her intense stare at the splotch and looked across from her past the chair Ron was sitting in before and into the fire. The shapes that danced within it mesmerized her, and she began to truly realize that she has just dumped her best friend/ boyfriend. "Things change so quickly…" she pondered and then sighed, getting up from the chair she had sunk into and heading down the corridor and into the Heads chambers where her bed made of white cotton sheets waited for her to nestle within their folds until the following morning.

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Sooooo let me know how you liked it. I have a really suspenseful plot planned so I hope you like enough to review it so I can feel the urgency to post more chapters :)

Oh and feel free to look at my profile and whatnot too. I love reading and reviewing your stories as well

-Ari Jena


	2. Reliving and Reassurance

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and I'm definitely glad you guys want more cuz that's what your gonna get :) You are awesome because I posted my fic at like 3 in the morning and 9 hours later I already have reviews! Yessss! Haha

So here goes another chappie and I hope you like the elaboration on Hermione's feelings so that you can get better in touch with her character. Also constructive criticism is welcome so please let me know so I can enhance it to please you guys.

Big hugs all around and thanks 3

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When she had snuggled into her bed late that night she found herself as usual, wide awake and wondering how she would possibly survive her next day of classes on the continuous lack of sleep she had obtained since that traumatic night. She wished that something could comfort her but she had pushed Ron away, Harry was probably with Ginny tonight, and she had lost any appetite for anything recently. She lay there staring through canopy above her, at the ceiling, which she had configured to be able to watch the night sky. The stars above her were so numerous and she wondered if one of them was specifically for her. Were they just there for show or did they actually serve a purpose?

She wrestled with her thoughts and wondered why things like rape, murder and abuse existed in this world. How one day you could feel so completely content with your life and the next feel as though every person was out to get you. That every touch you feel is going to end up hurting you because she had once so easily trusted everyone but now there were people out there who hurt her and she had no idea who they were. Most of the times victims know their attackers, so who could it be, that would possibly want to hurt her like that so viciously? She had not recognized his voice but she knew that she would find it. She would find out who did this to her. And then she would have her revenge.

The reason she couldn't sleep was because she was avoiding "the dream". The one that haunted her every night since the attack and it only came at night, so she made herself stay awake throughout the night to avoid it. However she failed like nights like tonight and dreamed of the dark figures that captured her while she roamed the hallways on duty. She felt their hands grasping her flailing legs and arms and their fingers digging into her skin bruising her. When they finally had reached the Room of Requirement they threw her on to the bed, shoved the cloth that dripped with some type of drug to make her feel weak, deep into her mouth and mercilessly tied her hands to the backboard and her feet to each bedpost. They stretched her out until her limbs could not possibly move unless she wanted to pop them out of their sockets. She lay there, hot angry tears streaming down her face, making it impossible to see her attackers although she couldn't make out what they looked like because they had charmed their faces to blur.

She remembered the leader telling the other three to leave and the others at first seeming to resist however his fierce stare made them shudder, leaving just the helpless Hermione and him alone.

He crawled onto the bed and working his hands up her legs to have his body rest between her legs and his hands grabbing her waist, his thumbs kneading circles around her hip bones that jutted out of her skin.

She could vaguely see him kneeling over her, with him on his knees and then running his hands all over her body seductively. She moaned in frustration because she could not defend herself from him touching her like that. He began to kiss her and nibble on her skin down the length of her body and when he reached her ear, while pressing his body into every inch of her, making it difficult to breathe, he whispered in her ear the only thing he would say that night before doing his way with her.

_**"**It will be okay**"**_

This contradicted every possible meaning of the phrase. It would not be "okay". She whimpered, trying somehow to communicate this fear, this known prophesy of her own future. She tried to tell him that it would not be okay. This would ruin her.

She tried to put up a fight, pulling at the material that bound her feet, hoping to get one free so that she could kick him in the face hopefully making him unconscious. She visualized defending herself and coming out of this situation, not dead to the world she once knew but alive and whole. But it never happened. They had used magic to ensure that she would not get away, to make sure she suffered though it all. Every minute of the several hours it felt like she was there, he made sure to do every devastating thing to her body, and every minute he took was another that Hermione would relive for the rest of her life.

After several hours she felt like she was going to die. Literally die from the pain, humiliation and impurity she felt entering her own body and leaving her with nothing. She gave up the will to somehow save herself because she knew that if she tried anything at this point, he might somehow find something else to torture her with. The whole time she just kept thinking "Why me? What have I done?" and then it transformed into the expression that her assaulter used, "Its going to be okay" which she knew was completely false.

When he was finally done she was on the verge of being unconscious. He rested his sweaty forehead against her with closed eyes while hers fluttered to open in hopes of identifying her attacker. She shook her head to get him off of her disgusted with this somewhat sign of affection. Instead he grabbed her chin, releasing the cloth from her mouth but he knew she had no energy left to scream. He then bit her lips opening them with his teeth and kissed her aggressively. She could do nothing but let him kiss her, letting him ruin the satisfaction of kissing someone she loves by associating it now with someone she hates. He finally withdrew from her, placing small kisses on her swollen lips and then whispering into them again that,

_**"**It will be okay**"**_

After that she blacked out into a sudden endless abyss of pain. Then she opened her eyes and jolted awake. She pulled at the folds of her blankets that were wrapped around her legs and arms and then stopped suddenly when she realized she was in her bedroom. That it wasn't that night at all but she had only drifted off to sleep and replayed the attack again in her dreams. Still catching her breath she lay there right before the dawn, looking at the sky that was slowly lighting up and the thin trail of clouds moving across it.

She lay there until her alarm went off and then reluctantly got out of bed, heading to the bathroom. Running the water in the shower she undressed, unbuttoning her flannel and pulling off her shorts, and stepping carefully in. Letting the water run down her body she closed her eyes and just let it drip down letting the mundane sound of it fill her ears, comforting her. Preparing herself for the day ahead she recited the only words that came to her mind

_"It will be okay"_.

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I really hope you guys like this. I tried to elaborate on what happened so that I could get that out of the way and get to how she now interacts with everyone. Review Review Review! :D


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